Positive Parenting

Survive being a single mom
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4 Ways to Survive Being a Single Mom – 2023 Guide

It can be disheartening to lose a connection that was once the most important part of your life. However, you need to persevere and find ways to survive for the sake of a better future for yourself and your children. Single mom life can be tough, and it can be difficult to manage work and children while not burning out, but it is not impossible. If you pay attention to some fundamental things that include taking care of your and your kids’ mental health, using apps that ensure your child’s safety when you’re away, reaching out to people in the community, and practicing self-care, then you can create a peaceful and prosperous life. Let’s start and turn around your life as a single mom into something more bearable and fruitful. 1. Keep Your Head Held High One of the best parenting tips for single moms that you can do is to maintain a positive attitude. That is easier said than done, as going through any traumatic event can trigger strong emotions that can overwhelm you and make you feel drained and defeated. This section will discuss the three most common things that can affect your positive attitude and hamper your progress. Anger Anger can come in many forms, including anger at your ex, yourself, the world for not being fair, or life for being difficult. Uncontrolled anger releases occur when you hold onto it for far too long. It can manifest itself in sudden and potentially harmful ways. And as the sole guardian of your growing offspring, the last thing you want is to harm them in any way unconsciously. Resentment Another common response to being a single mom is resentment. It usually stems from unresolved anger, making you bitter and irritated at everyone and everything. It is directed at whoever is in your line of fire, with or without reason. One of the worst cases is when single mothers start resenting their children because they somehow justify that it is their child’s fault that the parents got divorced. Not Seeking Help Your strength is not judged by tolerating the slings and arrows of life and seeing how much more you can take. A healthy approach is to reach out to someone who will empathically listen to you and be with you as you progress in your recovery. Counselors and psychologists can help you get in touch with your feelings and get back in the driver’s seat. You could even do group sessions with your children, allowing you to express things you can’t do under normal conditions. The New Connections Counselling Center in Baltimore, MD, is just one of the many institutes that offer group therapy for single moms that empowers you with tools to manage stress, learn forgiveness, communicate with the ex, and effectively co-parent. If going in person is a problem, some institutes offer online therapy services specifically catered to single moms, and many others offer actionable single-mother parenting tips per their unique circumstances. 2. Managing Your Children Along With Work Schedule Now that we have discussed your mental attitude, let’s talk about some practical things you should consider. What was once a simple deal with your partner, to look after the children as you worked or vice versa, has now become a maze of managing your work while ensuring you give your children enough time to be a part of their ever-expanding lives. You must understand that your children must take on greater responsibility and pull their weight for the household. To ensure you keep an eye out for them as they fulfill their duties, you need something non-intrusive yet also vigilant. Xnspy is a monitoring app that can help you maintain enough space so your children can grow and explore the world naturally while keeping your motherly, nurturing eye on them. It features a stealth mode that allows you to do that. Furthermore, you can monitor their phones, messages, apps, and websites, which can help you keep them from potentially harmful situations. The live location feature will help you ensure their whereabouts when you are stuck at work. Furthermore, by using geofencing, you can ensure that you don’t have to monitor them while giving them their privacy constantly. One of the best ways to get them on board is by talking to them. Express your concern for their safety and listen to their need for privacy. Remember, you are all they have now, and you must be their shepherd to guide them through this rather turbulent life. 3. Don’t Deny Support From The Outside It is important to remember you’re not alone in this. There is an African proverb that says that it takes a village to raise a child. Reach out to your friends and family. Connect with other people, listen to their time management tips for single parents, and find out what works for you. One such community is the Single Parent Community. It is a non-profit organization offering emotional and nutritional support and legal mentoring programs, as outlined in its non-profit one-pager. They aim to be the “Missing Link” for children to build stability in their lives. Whether you decide to reach out to local communities or go on the internet to find people from all walks of life, having a support structure around you can help create a sense of safety and understanding. By engaging with people struggling to find their peace and considering tips for single parents from people who successfully survived similar situations, you can create an environment where finding pathways through your struggle is possible. Do remember, though, you must be careful when engaging with people on the internet. You don’t know who is on the other end of the conversation. They might be a bit too eager to share their parenting tips for single parents but might have ulterior motives too… Just be careful. 4. Take Care Of Your Self After all the struggles, painstakingly long work hours, and trials and errors (because that is what life is, after all), you need to

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Parenting Alert: 3 Threats to Positive Parenting

Many parents ask me about the parenting mistakes that should be looked out for while trying a new parenting tool. Well! I will take this opportunity to highlight 3 common threats to positive parenting of teens. Extortion Involves demanding a privilege or reward with an underlying threat, stated or implied, if the demands are not granted. The perverse nature of extortion deteriorates with the age of the kid.  From a lengthy tantrum to threating violence and self-harm, kids can get what they want. Some teens may even resort to non-compliance by denying responsibilities like homework, until they get their demands fulfilled. Some threats may be very vague, like, “You better let me go to the party or there will be consequences” Extortion can seriously jeopardize parent-kid relationship. It also severs a child’s moral development and even the entire future, because there is no room for this kind of conduct in the real world. Teens may start at an early age with minor forms of extortion which can then escalate gradually over years. Bribery This strategy is used by both, parents and teenagers. The teen version is simply asking for something as a payment for services. “I will do what you say but give me this first!”  Parents get manipulated very easily as they believe it may do more good than the harm. Teens who are successful with the bribery can have no motivation to achieve things and would rather get what they want through ‘smooth talking’ then through hard work or effort. Parents’ version of bribery is slightly different. It works with the intention of motivating kids to perform certain tasks like homework, or exam preparation etc. They may use up-front payments to get the desired results. However, this is an act of desperation and hardly produces any positive results. Trained Non-Compliance Non-compliance works two ways. First, teens look out for ways to escape responsibilities. They make such a big mess of things that parents prefer not to enforce any task onto them. The other way is to convince parents that they are extremely helpless and any sort of compliance will be damaging them. Over time, parents accept non-compliance and they stop demanding any work from their child. In this process, teen enjoys escaping responsibilities. Parents can use different strategies to achieve a socially desirable behavior from their kids, like: Give something: this may involve rewarding your child if a desired behavior is achieved by the kid. The other form is punishing your kid for non-compliance, though it’s not recommended due to its inefficacy Take away something: Parents can take away a distressful or painful circumstance. Fining is the other facet of this strategy where something meaningful is taken away to discourage a certain behavior. Ambience change: Bringing the desired results by changing the environment of your teen. Teach: using examples, explanations and prompts to promote a behavior. Do nothing: Parents can choose to not interfere with the consequences, following a behavior, so that the kid can learn from real-life consequences.

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