Have you ever been in yet another row with your adolescent and wondered, “What happened to that sweet child of mine?” Parents have been at the receiving end of teenage rebellion for as long as time has existed. Some children rebel even when they have a seemingly perfect environment. Others rebel because there are deep rooted problems within the family or within their social group… even within their minds.
So, if your child has been acting up, here are some of the reasons why…
1. The Need for Attention
Sometimes kids rebel as a way of getting attention. They want to be heard, they want to feel like they have a voice that matters. Often, this comes from parents not spending enough time with their children. When parents don’t give children the chance to voice their problems or give them a platform to speak their minds, kids will bottle up their emotions and ultimately, it will translate into rebellious behavior. Moreover, new studies have revealed that rebellion is most caused from a separation from parents.
2. The Need for Identity
Another reason they’re acting out is simply that they’re discovering themselves. Searching for an identity, especially in teen years, is a rather frustrating time. Imagine the pressure cooker your child is in. They know that you have certain expectations of them. They know their teachers, mentors and school has certain expectations of them. They watch their friends achieve certain milestones. But all the while, they have no idea what they want to do for themselves. So, it is that frustration, the insecurity of not knowing what to do that makes them act out.
3. The Need for Fitting In
When a child tries to fit into a crowd, they often hide who they really are. This causes feelings of unhappiness and suppression, which ultimately causes them to rebel. Are you starting to notice the pattern here? It is that feeling of emptiness, the matters unresolved and the feelings unexpressed that cause your child to rebel. When they are in school, there is a lot of pressure to fit in, the need to associate themselves with one another. But frequently, this is not what is best for them.
4. The Need for Power
One reason why teens rebel is to regain control. When they feel like the world around them is too chaotic or the goals being set for them are too overwhelming, they simply respond by acting out. Young adults have a lot resting on their shoulders. They are at a crossroads in their lives where they have to make very important decisions… what college to go to, where to live when they move out, what job to get, what career path to choose. And all of this can be too much all at once. When things seem out of their control, teens regain power by rebelling.
All of this can be avoided if you have open communication with your children and hear what is on their minds. Give them healthy outlets to discuss what’s bothering them, and you’ll raise happier teens.