3 Ways to Maintain Control of a Problem Child

If you’re a tenured parent who has had a bright, promising and over all good kid grow up and out fly out of the nest, you might think that the same patterns will carry over with the younger sibling or siblings. Oh how mistaken you are.

Say in a perfect world your first and older child was a breeze to raise, he listened to his parents and obeyed rules, got good grades and eventually grew up to be a good responsible adult. Heck, not even in a perfect world, the chances of an older sibling being the more responsible one aren’t that sleek. Now you’re so used to a good and responsible child, that you don’t pay as much as attention to your younger child and give him or her same leeway as you did with the older one. Chances are that they will take advantage of the constant leniency and will manipulate it out of you.

Children today arguably are a little tougher to raise and it is not their fault, the expectations from fellow younger people, society, the burden of constant stress from school and the importance built on a superficial social media presence has made them grow up at a much faster rate, to the point that they think that they don’t even need parents.

This belief will come out in constant retaliation, outright disrespect and intolerant response to being told “no” among other things. Now we aren’t saying all children are like this. Some children will go out of their way to be respectful, will follow the rules you set and more, but we’re dealing with problem children here. But the ‘problem’ in ‘problem child’ isn’t the child; it is how they were raised.

Symptoms of a Problem Child

Children who are disobedient, disrespectful to elders or anyone for that matter and entitled to materialistic things always have a pattern in which they were raised. This pattern stems from never being told no, being pampered because they were the ‘little one’ of the house, parent’s negligence and the assumption that children will raise themselves from the internet.

The greatest factor to the birth of a problem child is the parent’s negligence. Like we said, it isn’t the child’s fault, it’s always the parent. “Mommy can I have that doll?” “Sure dear!” “Mom can I go the sleepover?” “Sure sweetie!” “Mom I’m going to be out till 2 am” “Never going to say no!” and on and on and on.  The child is so accustomed to getting what they want that the very idea of being rejected would make them breakdown in hysteria.

Symptoms of a Problem Child

Other symptoms would be bad grades, even though in some cases you would see otherwise. You would see complaints from the school about your child and bullying. The bullying part maybe from both sides, they could be the bully or they could be the one being bullied.

3 Ways to Deal With a Problem Child

Now that you’ve identified the symptoms, you can now look into your child and check whether they have these issues. Do they have a bad temper problem? Are they too old to throw tantrums like a 3 year old would? Well, it’s time to put your foot down.

  1. Just say no. To the toy they want, to the phone they want, to the game or computer or clothes or whatever. Just say no! Sure they might be angry or frustrated with you, but this will teach them that not everything in life is available at command. They have to learn that sometimes they will not get what they want and that’s okay. They’ll also learn that you have to work for everything you want, you have to earn. If anything, it will humble them, it will take some time, but it will.
  2. The second thing, is that you should listen to them. What might seem petty or meaningless to you, might mean the world to them and really, all they might want is a place to let their emotions out and they might even forget about. Never demean their emotions if they’re distressed about something that actually means something worthy. Listen to them and offer your point of view and advice. Be involved in their life and try to take an interest in their life!
  3. Third thing is to let them solve their own problems. Do not be a a helicopter parent and fly over them whenever they have a problem. Often parents of problem children will swoop in at the slightest of inconveniences. This teaches them they someone else will always solve your problems for you and they need not worry about anything. These sort of habits breed a reliance on someone else and soon these children will find that they can’t live independently. Let them face their problems and let them bring out their decision making skills to arrive to a solution. You would actually be doing a huge favor to them. The opposite would be stripping them of independent thought, which will cause nothing but issued once they are old enough to live alone

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These are obviously just a few ways you can maintain control of a problem child. The other ways would obviously be needed to be deduced and assessed based on your Childs behaviors and symptoms. Your child might be under different circumstances and might need a different kind of attention. What’s important is to pay close and acute attention to your child, to notice their habits and to act accordingly if something seems off or not allowed. We’re not suggesting that you rule with an iron fist, but don’t let your kids walk all over you.

To be a part of your children’s lives to a further degree, we suggest using XNSPY, a comprehensive mobile tracker app that keeps tabs on messages, incoming and outgoing calls, WhatsAppSpy, Facebook Spy, a location tracker in real time, app usage and so much more.

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