How Mobile Monitoring Has Changed My Parenting Style—an XNSPY Dad Speaks Out

mobile monitoring father's day 2016

Here is an insightful blog written by one of our very own XNSPY Dads. Here is his thought piece in his own words…

They say that my generation has a fear of technology. That we’d rather reprimand it than accept it. It’s probably why so many of us are out of jobs, redundant, and young fresh blood is taking over. But the deal is, I never wanted to be that guy. I never wanted to be the gray haired, wrinkly old fellow that likens smartphones and Facebook to witchcraft that is ruining this generation. So I wholeheartedly accepted it and encouraged my kids to do the same.

Of course, as the nature of this blog goes, I had to realize that accepting the new era digital connectedness in my life was going to bring about complications. Who knew Snapchat was a representation of social prestige and that Instagram likes meant more popularity in school? So as my use of social media grew, so did my understanding of the various problems that plague kids that use it. And at the end of the day, when I brought mobile monitoring into my life, it quite simply changed my parenting style.

How you ask? Let me explain.

I needed a starting point to bring about this change. And my starting point was realizing that I can’t think of offline and online parenting as two separate things. They are not mutually exclusive. They simply aren’t. It’s like saying your child’s Facebook life is separate from their “real life”. While it is true that children build different persons to express themselves online, it is your child at the end of the day. So, you can’t think of parenting online and parenting offline as two separate things.

Secondly, you’ve got to realize that while your children are under your care as minors, you have the right to look through their phones. Your kids have a certain right to their privacy, but not while it intervenes with their safety. Monitoring and privacy has to come through from a place of trust. A good relationship with your children entails that you trust them to do the right thing and they have enough integrity not to break your trust.

That being said, should you feel the need to take a look at their conversations to predator-proof your child’s social media, you as the dad, the parent, the guardian have every right to do so. You are responsible for their safety and well being. Isn’t it ironic that in the age of social media, the only people your kids want privacy from is you? They are happy to broadcast every event of their lives online for thousands to see, but they hesitate in letting you in.

As the parent, you must not be afraid of the reaction and opposition you’re going to face from your kids. Of course your kids will retaliate when you tell them not to view certain content or not to talk to certain stranger online. But it shouldn’t be your life’s goal to get your kids to like you all the time. You need to facilitate their growth and success by setting certain boundaries.

Don’t give into all their unreasonable desires because you want to avoid conflict with your children. Be the adult, be the parent. That’s what mobile monitoring has taught me.

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