“Spying” on children is generally looked down upon no matter what kind of parent you are. People talk about how parents should build their relationships with their kids based on trust. Even though the parameters of parental “spying” are blurred and there is much debate that goes on.
Of course you’ve got the people that look down upon parents snooping on their kids. They think it is wrong in that it sabotages a child’s relation with the parent. You know how you wouldn’t want anyone to read your diary when you were younger? It’s the same privacy principle that these parents follow. Privacy is sacred and parent should respect that with their child. The kids are going to return that respect and hopefully be responsible with it.
But we’re not dealing with diaries anymore. We are living in the world of social media, of instant connectivity, of handheld devices. These are much more dynamic, much more alive than diaries were. This is why I use spy for iPhone when I monitor my children. And I know for a fact that I’m not alone in this decision.
It is in keeping this in mind that we’ve got parents who think what we’re talking about is not “spying” so much so as just “parenting.” You are simply taking measures to protect them from others and also from themselves. This party thinks that when parents buy their kids smartphones, they give them a privilege, not a right. So what you’re doing essentially is not spying on them, but parenting with knowledge. You are monitoring your child. You’re keeping in the know of things so you can protect your children and make sure they don’t make any mistakes that can have irreversible effects on their lives. Sure the word “spy” brings about a lot of controversy, but what you’re doing is looking out for your children.
Kids think that it is their right to keep secrets from you. There is a line to be drawn here. To a certain degree, it is okay for kids to have their share of privacy. They should be able to formulate their thoughts by themselves and build and identity without feeling like they’re being observed all the time. Everyone needs a healthy amount of me time. But when we’re talking specifically about smartphones and internet usage, I think we’ve got a bit of a strange situation going on.
Why do kids want to hide social media from their parents anyway? Let’s get one thing straight: social media is hardly a private place. Kids use it literally to broadcast information about themselves. They post a photo on Instagram or send a Tweet, hundreds of people see it. In fact, the amount of people that respond to a post directly correlates with how happy your child is. It becomes something to boast about. In some cases it has an effect on a child’s self esteem as well. For example, when a selfie on Instagram does not get enough likes, your child may get upset and delete the photo. On the other hand when they do get enough likes and plenty of comments about how nice they look in the picture, they feel good about themselves.
The point here is that kids want that lots of people view what they do on the internet. They want to be noticed. However, they want to be noticed by everyone who is not their parents. Social media or the internet is a place that they’ve built sans their parents. They think of it as a place where they have independence. Their parents aren’t there to tell them what to do. So they can talk however they like. They can connect with whomever they please. They can view content no matter what it is. They can even share beliefs their parents would look down upon. In a sense, they can have an identity that their parents don’t know about. And because of this, they can be as reckless as they want to be. That’s the scary part.
Therefore, as controversial as it may sound, spying is necessary, and I don’t think you should give it up anytime soon.