How Can I Help My Son With Porn Addiction?

How Can I Help My Son With Porn Addiction?

According to most statistics, 11 years is the average age when children are first exposed to pornography. Children under the age of 10 now make up 22% of online porn users under the age of 18, according to a recent study from the security technology company Bitdefender. The age at which children get exposed to pornography is rapidly rising, and parents are scrambling to keep up with the times to shield their kids. Today, I will share some tips that seemed to work for my son.

My eldest son, Jason, 13, came to my wife and me after we just finished dinner. He seemed flustered and overwhelmed. His breathing was sporadic, and I could hear his heart beating like a drum. It was odd since it was winter, and there weren’t any signs of heatstroke. Through slurred speech and sweat dripping from his forehead, he revealed he was watching porn regularly and was having difficulty stopping.

It was clear that the guilt was eating him up inside, and it was a massive relief off his shoulders to admit his flaws. It was a brave step for him, and he showed immense courage to open up to us. My wife and I did not expect such a bombshell to get dropped on us. Naturally, we were taken aback at first. But after realizing what was going on, I hugged Jason, reconciled his pain, and told him how brave he was for admitting his addiction.

Once the dust had settled, I decided to have a chat with him. I told him how normal is it for kids to be addicted to porn. But that was not the entire point I had make. I also told him why need to cut down his porn habit. It meant he couldn’t fire up his phone or laptop and visit websites whenever he has the urge. I knew Jason wanted to change, which is why he came to us in the first place. So this is what I did.

1.   Help Deal with Emotions

I knew it was a big load off his chest, and I quickly realized that he would need a lot of time to process his emotions. So that’s exactly what I did. I gave him ample time and space to help him deal with his emotions and conflicting thoughts that he might be having. I made it abundantly clear that any conversations we might have would be done privately, respectfully, and in a safe space.

By his body language, I could tell the guilt was killing him. I told him it was natural to feel guilty but not be ashamed. Because shame means one is unable to change and admits defeat. I told him the difference between each, which filled Jason with hope and joy. It was my way of helping him deal with emotions and come to terms with reality.

2.   Create Healthy Activities

Kids are hard to control and every parent knows it. And the older the kid gets, the harder it becomes to micromanage them. But it doesn’t mean you cannot set boundaries for your kid and encourage them to participate in healthy activities. And it is exactly what I did with Jason.

Instead of eliminating his access to the Internet, I provided him with practical ways to cope with times of temptation. I treated his porn addiction for what it was: a phase in my child’s life.

went to the gym every day. We would then go on bike rides together on the weekends.

3.   Remind Them They are Loved

It is a fact that many kids first come into pornography by accident, but they keep returning for several different reasons. Some young people engage in porn because they believe it will advance their “actual” relationships. Others use porn as a substitute because they don’t think they are deserving of a romantic connection.

Remind them that they are loved and deserving of love. Inform them that porn is just over-the-top fantasy made for entertainment and that real human connections are far more important.

And if your kids feel unloved and lonely, they will naturally turn to porn as an escape and for dopamine influx. So to naturally increase their dopamine, positive affirmation is crucial. Remind your children they are loved no matter what.

4.   Set Ground Rules for Gadget Use

Not all porn addicts are willing to acknowledge their condition. Many people prefer to lie than to disclose their pornographic tendencies, particularly children who get confronted by their parents. Your youngster defied the odds and deserves praise for being trustworthy. Instead of punishing your child by taking away their gadgets and grounding them, appreciate their honesty and reward them. It is what I did with Jason, and it seemed to work for both of us.

I chose not to take away his laptop and smartphone but rather set ground rules that needed to be followed. I set the time and space when he could use his phone to do homework, chat with his friends, play video games and watch movies. Everything was allowed except porn. And to ensure he didn’t give in to his urges, I chose parental control.

5.   Use a Parental Control App

Parental control apps stop children from accessing inappropriate sites. They can be a lifesaver when you’re busy, and life gets in the way of parenting. These apps will constantly be tracking what their child is doing online. Parents can use monitoring software’s browser tracking functions to stop children from accessing pornographic websites by remotely blocking their access.

XNSPY can stop children from accessing inappropriate sites and can pinpoint how frequently the child visits them and the types of webpages they have saved in their browser.

XNSPY is useful because it not only restricts access to pornographic content but also informs parents about their kid’s viewing habits so they can intervene before it becomes an addiction. The app helped me in the former since even though I trust Jason, there’s a chance that his friends might send him links to his favorite websites as a joke which would trigger his reaction, and we would be back to square one.

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