As your children get older, they tend to get more reclusive. Especially when they’re in their tweens or when they’re graduating middle school. They’re not to blame. They’re going through plenty of changes that can be overwhelming and emotionally challenging. Pressures from school could be to be involved in social situations, perform well in their educational career and be a responsible member of the family. So when they close that door for some along time, a lot of parents get wary. Question is, are you right to be concerned?
Space is Important!
The truth is, as nerve-wracking as it may be for you to imagine what your child is doing behind closed doors, your child needs that space. And they can do a lot of good with that alone time as well. For a lot of tweens and teens, their bedroom is their little private space, a refuge from pressures, social anxieties and expectations. They can unwind here and prepare themselves to face responsibilities for the next day.
A Time to Dream
Being alone in their rooms also gives your child the perfect opportunity to dream. Their imagination can run wild and they might use this time to regain their confidence. When they dream, they might think of a better future for themselves. This way, they’ll know that no matter what they’re going through at school—with their teachers, bad grades, not being picked for the baseball team, not having enough friends—they can overcome it because they’ve got bigger dreams. It is constructive visualization that can only be explored when they have alone time.
A Safe Haven
For other kids, their alone time could be a safe haven they use to get away from stressors. A lot of kids in the US face bullies at school. This makes attending school a stressful experience, and something they have to face up to on a daily basis. So being by themselves in their rooms, even if for a few minutes, makes them feel safer. It gives them the time to do the things they like to do… read their favorite books, watch a film or television show on their tablets, browse their favorite websites. These things help them de-stress and feel better about their day.
You Can Use This Time, Too!
While your teen has put themselves in solitary, you can use this time constructively. Your parental control app can be very telling. First of all, you can use it to find out what your kid is doing in their alone time. Are they in there because they are being bullied at school? Or are they simply using that time to relax? It also helps you find out if the alone time is good for them or if they should be around their family and friends more often. As a safe bet, however, an hour or so of alone time is usually the right way to go, not only for your child, but for you as well!