It’s going to be Mother’s Day soon! And you know XNSPY is all about celebrating the empowered mother who somehow manages to make everything work and stay on top of the game. I mean, haven’t you ever wondered how your mom manages to go to work, do the laundry, pick up the groceries, keep things under the budget and whip up your favorite meal all in the same day? Well, we’ve wondered too. Moms are done with half their days work by the time we decide to get out of bed. We’ve thought and we’ve thought—there’s no other explanation to it. Moms are not human. They’re superheroes. Your mom is probably SuperMom on the sly and you don’t even know it.
And you know what? They’ll probably kick any other superhero’s rare end in a faceoff. Because the SuperMom is the best superhero of like, ever. Let’s break it down.
Spiderman vs. SuperMom
Spiderman is all about the gimmicks if you think about it. He spends half his time sowing his costume and the other half reloading his web shooters. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Spiderman is no match for SuperMom. I think he realizes that, too. In fact, I think he fears her secretly.
SuperMom on the other hand is real. She has the power of nocturnality. And she didn’t get that from a radioactive spider. She has years of sleepless night with a crying infant to practice. Besides, Spiderman is a teenager. He has a SuperMom at home too, and he’s no good to Queens, NY if Aunt May decides to ground him.
SuperMom : 1
Captain America vs. SuperMom
Someone had to inject a Super-Soldier Serum into Captain America’s body for him to get strength, agility, speed and all that lot. SuperMoms are born with it.
Their super reflexes help them making sure the baby does not fall of the changing table; the agility helps her in keeping the teenage son in line. Even Dad thinks twice before crossing her. That makes SuperMom a way better field commander. Captain America has no way of keeping his soldiers together all the time. SuperMom has a mobile monitoring app that tells her where her family is at any hour of the day.
Captain America: 0
Thor vs. SuperMom
Okay, so maybe Thor can track objects in a superhuman way, but you know what? SuperMom can track cell phones. They probably don’t have cellphones in Asgard, so they don’t realize how much more useful tracking them over other things is. Because they let SuperMom know if villains are plotting against her kids.
Plus, Thor needs his hammer to lift heavy stuff. But have you heard the story of a SuperMom who lifted a 1500 kg car off her kid to save his life? And she did it without a Mjolnir, too. And what happens if Thor’s cape gets in the way?
So now you know. All the radioactive spider bitten, genetically modified, Norse-god types are no match for your mum. And, like all superheroes, she doesn’t do it for the money or the fame or the glory. She does it because she loves her family and has the most powerful sense of responsibility. Ever wondered what would happen if SuperMomstarts getting paid for their jobs? Money Supermarket explains:
SuperMom can easily make $50,000 in a week just by taking care of you. But like most Superheroes, she often isn’t appreciated enough for the work she puts in. So, from now on, we’re taking down our Cap posters and replacing them with SuperMom instead!